For some reason I've been feeling almost guilty about being so happy, about being so content in what I've found. Why would it be making me feel guilty though? Maybe it's that the world is in such a sad state that I just feel wrong having something make me so happy... But maybe not.
All I know is I think I'm done feeling bad about it. The world and so many of the people living in it are so sad, there needs to be more love and happiness around. Maybe it'll help relieve some of the pain and suffering. The world needs more of what he is being for me.
He's so good to me. He holds me close, makes me feel like I might be special. Special... Not special like I'm 'the one' or anything. Special like, I'm different to him. Special like he wants to spend time with me even though he has no obligation to. I'm not his fiancee or his girlfriend, I don't have any special sort of title. It makes it so I trust our time together more almost, because it is completely chosen. He calls me beautiful, gorgeous even sometimes. And being near him is just comforting.
Just saying, I like this.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Six Tidbits
Tonight at my final meeting as a daughter in Job's Daughters I filled in as Chaplin and Librarian. For my Librarian's report I decided to gather six of my favorite quotes, six quotes I remember when I'm down and try to live by.
This is Camille's six tidbits for life.
1. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
2. When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
- John Lennon
3. Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.
- Shel Silverstein
4. Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.
- Robert Fulghum
5. If not me, who? And if not now, when?
- Mikhail Gorbachev
6. What you do, the way you think, it makes you beautiful.
- Scott Westerfield
This is Camille's six tidbits for life.
1. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
2. When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
- John Lennon
3. Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.
- Shel Silverstein
4. Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.
- Robert Fulghum
5. If not me, who? And if not now, when?
- Mikhail Gorbachev
6. What you do, the way you think, it makes you beautiful.
- Scott Westerfield
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Notes
Camille this note is very
simple and short I love
you and I'm yours for as long
as you want me :)
- Love Travis
Thank you for making me realize how full of shit people can be, whether you care about them or not. Whether you love them or not. People lie, but I'm strong and I'll make it just fine.
I think he might be a little different anyways.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Somebody to love
"Can anybody find me somebody to love..."
Maybe I'm happy, and it scares me a little.
Maybe I'm not put together, but I know I'm a beautiful mess.
Maybe I have too much faith in people, but I have to believe the best.
Maybe I'll just leave one day, but know I'll never forget all this.
It might be because the little things are finally adding up.
It might be because I'm happy as who I am nowadays.
It might be because in the end all we have is each other.
It might be because I need to start new, but this made me who I am.
I don't know what my future will bring. But I know I'm happy with this right now. Hearing someone say they care in one way or another and not feeling the compulsion to doubt them is amazing. Being close to someone, feeling their heart beat through their chest, it's real. It's nothing committed, but that doesn't take away the realness of being close. Maybe it will just be what it is until it isn't anymore. It could be this week, or a couple of months. Perhaps it'll be ongoing, when we're together we will be, and when one of us is gone we won't. It doesn't worry me right now, and the fact that it isn't worrying me almost worries me.
But it is what it is, and I love it.
But there is still a chance I might get things together someday.
But I will probably still get crushed every once in a while.
But maybe I'll just stay here, always.
In the mean time, I'll enjoy being close, having someone to lay beside.
"Everyday I try and I try and I try, but everybody wants to put me down; They say I'm going crazy...
Can anybody find me somebody to love?"
Maybe I'm happy, and it scares me a little.
Maybe I'm not put together, but I know I'm a beautiful mess.
Maybe I have too much faith in people, but I have to believe the best.
Maybe I'll just leave one day, but know I'll never forget all this.
It might be because the little things are finally adding up.
It might be because I'm happy as who I am nowadays.
It might be because in the end all we have is each other.
It might be because I need to start new, but this made me who I am.
I don't know what my future will bring. But I know I'm happy with this right now. Hearing someone say they care in one way or another and not feeling the compulsion to doubt them is amazing. Being close to someone, feeling their heart beat through their chest, it's real. It's nothing committed, but that doesn't take away the realness of being close. Maybe it will just be what it is until it isn't anymore. It could be this week, or a couple of months. Perhaps it'll be ongoing, when we're together we will be, and when one of us is gone we won't. It doesn't worry me right now, and the fact that it isn't worrying me almost worries me.
But it is what it is, and I love it.
But there is still a chance I might get things together someday.
But I will probably still get crushed every once in a while.
But maybe I'll just stay here, always.
In the mean time, I'll enjoy being close, having someone to lay beside.
"Everyday I try and I try and I try, but everybody wants to put me down; They say I'm going crazy...
Can anybody find me somebody to love?"
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