Desire

The first hint of desire of possession came out a few days ago. And it wasn't me wanting him either.
How bizarre.
I didn't see it coming at all.

It seems like he wants me to be more than his late night cuddles... Which I am okay with certainly. But in the beginning it seemed like he had everything all figured out and knew what he wanted and had his emotions on lock down. He ever had a little "I don't want to be using her" conversation and pulled seriously away for a week or so because he was so disconnected emotionally at the time. Or that's what I was assuming the cause was...

But he certainly doesn't want me to be his girlfriend. I mean, he's moving in November and I'll be gone for the greater portion of two months in August and September. Lord knows I adore being close to him but that time apart will be weird. Originally I think we were planning on having this be so simple we could walk separate ways without any second thoughts, but it's farther than that now. He has told me he'll miss me when I leave, that it'll be weird with me gone for so long. I know I'll miss him too. He seems to be working his way closer and closer to my heart... I'll have to monitor the development of this.



I am so full of thoughts and I want to keep writing. But I don't know how to transition to another topic smoothly right now. I'm feeling less than poetic. Maybe I'll come back to this again later.